Relationship breakups, the loss of loved ones and moving house are frequently cited as some of life’s most stressful events.
Moving house was the time of great anxiety for me. What had been the home for my children and me for a number of years was up in the air. The time had come to move in with my partner; so, it wasn’t just a question of moving everything from one place to another, but also adding to the stress was what to keep and what to get rid of. We had to fit two houses full of years of accumulated stuff (and memories) into one.
Moving house involved having to cope with change; the familiarity, routine and order of my life was changing. My children were older, so I didn’t have the stress of finding new schools, but being older created its own issues. Ultimately it was their family home which they had grown up in and they were more reluctant to move than me.
I felt on my own at times. I was a single parent with children who didn’t want to get involved in the decision making about what to keep.
A melting pot of reluctance and the lack of order really piled the pressure on me. I knew the uncertainty and the upheaval that surrounded the move could trigger underlying mental health conditions such as anxiety, OCD, and depression.
Some advice that I read said to be organized, (and normally I am pretty good at that) however the time between the point of receiving an offer on the house to when they wanted to complete was six weeks! This was a real shock to me, especially at a time when house sales were slowing down.
The pressure of work, college, being a parent and the house move was so much to deal with. Multiple trips to charity shops and the dump were a daily occurrence. The thought of being able to sell stuff to make some money were thrown out the window, with the time scales available, and what little I had left in the way of capacity to deal with the organization of it.
Throw one last Christmas into the mix to add further stress! I thought it would be a lovely idea especially for my children, but in reality, they got out of bed in time for the meal at lunchtime, ate and then left to see other family and friends. Did I need the stress at that time? Probably not. Was it worth the time, money, stress, and effort? Probably not. In hindsight I should have concentrated on self-care and making sure I was OK. If I were not OK, it would be harder to support my children who were struggling with the move.
What I have learned is not to be surprised if you feel tired and more anxious than usual. It is so important to look after yourself properly. Do not underestimate how important good food and sleep is at such a stressful time, as well as spending time with friends and taking a break.
At points where I felt overwhelmed, I picked back up breathing exercises I used to do to help manage those feelings. If I fell over who else was going to do it?
Whilst I did most of the preparation myself on the moving day I did have help not only from the removal men, but I had a dear friend turn up with food, snacks tea and cleaning products. When she turned up to the door brandishing trays of sandwiches not only did my heart lift, and my stomach rumble in anticipation, but I felt a weight left it from my shoulders.
A certainly did not get everything right, But I did learn a lot.
- Get organised
- Give yourself time
- Prepare the essentials
- A box of comfort
- Be kind to yourself
- Get help
There are so many things to remember, a list can help.
Here is an idea of one to get you started:
Six weeks before the move:
- Confirm moving date
- Notify landlord if you are renting
- Check home insurance
- Get quotes from removal firms
- Book pets into kennels etc.
- Start to declutter
- Order new furniture or carpets for new house
- Order boxes and packing cases
- Organise phone redirection
Two weeks before the move:
- Start packing
- Tell your GP when you are going
- Notify utility firms
- Arrange for post to be redirected
- Cancel milk/newspapers
- Make a list of people to be told
- Finalise removal plans
- Arrange to collect keys
- Inform bank
- Tell council
- Tell insurance company
- Run down freezer
And it can never be mentioned enough SELF CARE.
